The 5 Reiki Precepts (Gokai) are a deceptively simple set of guidelines for living a balanced and spiritually connected life. Without the Precepts, our practice is like a ship without a rudder, struggling to stay on course.
I began a discussion on my Facebook page to gain feedback from other Reiki practitioners on what the Precepts mean to them and how they are integrated into their daily life and practice. In this post, we examine the precept “Today only, do not anger (Kyo dake wa/Ikaru na)”.
A couple of comments I received were:
I think of it more as “I release anger” because sometimes anger will arise, and when it does, I’ll release it without identifying with it, taking it personally or becoming attached to it.
I think this precept invites us not to hold on to anger (making ourselves ill in the process) or to unleash it on others, hurting them and hurting ourselves, but instead to notice: Wow, I’m angry right now. What might be the reason for that? And how could I respond to the situation that’s causing me to feel like this in a constructive way? From a centred place, it is so much easier to act deliberately rather than reactively. Handled in this way, our anger may help us realise that perhaps we need clearer boundaries, or we need to find a way to stand up for our own needs, etc.
The first Precept “Do not anger” tends to be an emotionally charged one for Reiki practitioners. In my Reiki I (Shoden) classes, students spend a lot of time reflecting on what “Do not anger” means to them, as well as the resistance they feel at this directive. Usui Sensei was smart to list “do not anger” first, because as humans, it is the hardest emotion for us to work with. We feel entitled to our anger about how we were treated by our family of origin, by a former lover or spouse, a scheming coworker, or the person who rudely cuts us off in traffic. Anger is a sword we turn on ourselves. It cuts us more deeply than it does the person or situation to which we direct it. Anger keeps us from seeing the Oneness we share with others.
Anger can be a useful tool. It lets us know there is an issue, an imbalance or a wrong that needs to be addressed. However, all too often we bury, subvert or wallow in anger. It festers and causes illness, dysfunction and emotional separation. It’s unrealistic to think we can simply banish our feelings by reciting “Today only, do not anger”. But as the second comment above advises, we can stop and observe what we are feeling when the emotion arises instead of blindly reacting. Stopping and observing is where our practice truly begins. It’s when we’re able to drop our defenses and be receptive to the message we need to hear.
Sometimes that moment when we stop and observe may be enough to let go of the anger. For example, you may realize the person who cut you off in traffic actually didn’t see you. (It happens!) Or it may remind you of times you were aggressive in traffic because you were in a hurry or momentarily distracted. That pause allows you to see the other person as being probably not that much different than you.
Overstepping boundaries is a common cause of anger and misunderstanding in relationships between people. In close relationships, one person may not realize they are doing it (usually it’s because they have an unmet need they’re subconsciously trying to fill) and it is up to us to identify where the boundary has been crossed, and find a way to constructively address and reestablish a boundary that feels safe without creating additional conflict. Reiki practice can give us enough breathing space to step back from our anger to find a way to approach the other person and address the issue firmly yet with compassion.
During a conflict with family or partner, it may occur to you the tension you’re holding, or other physical symptoms you’re feeling (back or stomach pain, for instance) are deep-seated anger from something in your past you have internalized. Deep-seated issues did not develop in one day, nor should be expect them to be resolved emotionally right away. But with awareness and the tools of our practice (Reiki self-treatment, Sei Heki healing and Gassho meditation) we can directly, mindfully and gently address those emotions and begin to release them in a safe, productive way.
The practice of “Do not anger” is one we must learn to do it without self-judgment. Anger is a natural human emotion, but we don’t have to be helplessly chained to it. If we feel anger arise, we should acknowledge it, but not berate ourselves for what we’re feeling. When we release attachment to our anger (identifying with it, or allowing ourselves to be a victim) we can finally begin to let go of its stranglehold on us.
The imperative “Today only” is a lifelong practice. The Reiki Precepts are designed to bring more awareness to your daily life and facilitate mind/body/spirit balance. As Usui Sensei himself said: “If the mind is healthy, conforming to a path of integrity,then the body becomes sturdy of its own accord.” Anger is a sign that something needs to change, so use the opportunity to deepen your awareness of what may be triggering your anger to bring about healthy change and restore energetic and emotional balance.
If you liked this post, you may also be interested in reading Living the Reiki Precepts.
Hear my teacher, Hyakuten Inamoto, recite the Reiki Precepts in Japanese:
(Photo credit: Andrea_44 on Flickr)
