This is somewhat different than what I usually discuss in my blog posts, but I am so excited that I wanted to share it with you all.  The New York Times is currently running a reader-submitted photo essay called “Documenting the Decade,” which showcases photos and short essays of important moments of the last decade.  My friend and former co-worker Lisa had submitted a photo and when I complimented her on it, she said that she had wanted to submit a photo from our 2003 trip to Hyderabad, India to train teams to do co-sourcing work, but realized that all the best photos she had were ones I’d taken!  Wow – quite a compliment coming from a rather accomplished amateur photographer! 

So, I looked through the many photos taken from five separate trips to India.  I wanted to find one that expressed how the old and new have been comingling and colliding in India since the growth of Western companies and influence over the past ten years.  It was in a group of photos taken in that original three week trip in 2003 that I found it: a Coca-Cola sign juxtaposed against a series of columns and statues of deities at Bhadrakali Temple in Warangal, India:

It was amazing to me, even seven years ago, how this iconic sign of corporate culture could be found anywhere, even in a small, dusty town where locals saw relatively few Westerners.  I was greeted with intense scrutity and curiosity the entire time.  I was the only non-Indian, along with my companion, who rode the claustrophobically crowded “Krishna Local” train from Secunderbad to Warangal just to visit the Thousand-Pillared Temple, which had stood for nearly a millenia, and Bhadrakali Temple, where the photo was taken.  If I were to travel back there, would things look pretty much the same or would there be additional signs of “Westernization” I could hardly anticipate at the time of my first visit? 

India is a very special place for me, as it is (among other things) the place where I experienced the miracle of energy healing for the first time.  I also learned how spiritual practice is an ingrained part of everyday life for the Indian people, and not something relegated to the holidays or a specific day of the week.  These experiences changed me and informed my own spiritual growth and development.  It seems only right to share this photo, seven years after my first visit to this amazing, beautiful and always-surprising country.  Namaste and Happy New Year!

Dragonfly medicine teaches us to pierce our self-made illusions. Dragonfly can cause us to question the illusion which we call reality, particularly that part of our realities which hinders our ability to grow and create transformation/change in our lives.  Shamanic Journey 

I always thought dragonflies were beautiful, but never regarded them as having a special significance for me until one summer, three years ago, when they kept appearing. I was going through a number of profound personal and spiritual shifts during that time, and it seemed that at some key moment when I needed affirmation, a dragonfly would appear.

Symbolically, the dragonfly represents transformation. Hope, change and love are all embodied in the energy of dragonfly. As nymphs, they live water-bound at the bottom of lakes and ponds for two years until they mature into dragonflies and become airborne. (This reminded me of a spiritual metaphor central to Buddhism, that of the lotus, a gorgeous flower that grows out of swamp muck.) Can you imagine spending most of your life in one state where your existence is relatively limited, only to magically evolve into another level of existence where your movement is essentially unlimited? I took the timely appearance of these beautiful insects as a sign that I was on a life-changing, heart-opening journey. Reiki and motherhood were the two events that year which transformed and continue to inspire me to evolve in my role as someone called to the service of others.

When I made the decision to practice Reiki professionally, I knew that the dragonfly was the perfect metaphor for the type of healing journey I wanted to embark upon with my clients. As a Reiki practitioner, I am mindful of the fact that I am merely the facilitator of healing life-force energy. The person receiving Reiki is the one truly doing the healing and learning to live life on the wing where the brilliant, shimmering colors are continually evoking and reflecting a transformational state.

I have seen profound change in my own life through Reiki, where acknowledgement and healing of some very deep wounds has taken place. Clients experiencing any number of issues that result in pain and suffering have come in, committed themselves to change, and have utilized the healing energy of Reiki to make amazing progress on physical, emotional and spiritual levels. The life transformation you seek is limited only by your imagination. Just wait until you see how those wings are going to look on you!

I have been following this story closely but have been reluctant to write about it, because I did not want my response to come from a place of defensiveness or frustration.  Many of my Reiki colleagues are concerned, anxious and angry at the USCCB’s decision that Reiki therapy is “unscientific and inappropriate for Catholic institutions.”  Previous to this decision, there were some Catholic medical centers that did offer Reiki to their patients, but have since stopped.
I was initially taken back by the ruling, but have since had more time to read through the USCCB’s Guidelines for Evaluating Reiki as an Alternative Therapy, and as someone who has studied comparative religions and as a Christian (baptized Catholic, but now a Presbyterian through affirmation of faith) I can understand how the Bishops came to their conclusion.  I don’t necessarily agree with all of it, but let’s be clear that Christians of any major denomination generally “recognize […] two kinds of healing: healing by divine grace and healing that utilizes the powers of nature.”  In other words, either God has interceded and caused a miracle of healing, or it has occurred as a result of medical science.  Furthermore, Christian denominations are generally in agreement that:

The Holy Spirit sometimes gives to certain human beings “a special charism of healing so as to make manifest the power of the grace of the risen Lord.” This power of healing is not at human disposal, however, for “even the most intense prayers do not always obtain the healing of all illnesses.

This is the belief that healing occurs spontaneously and without directive from any other human being in attendance.  And of course we know about those people in the church’s history who were given special abilities to heal by laying-on of hands or simply by in the presence of others. Those are the saints of the church.

Examining spiritual and religious differences
OK, so what does this all mean?  Basically, the U.S. Catholic Church feels Reiki is a technique that is accomplished “at human disposal” because it is ability conferred by one human being to another and not by Divine Providence and therefore, does not qualify as “mak[ing] manifest the power of the grace of the risen Lord.”  They do not recognize the term “universal life energy” as being synonymous with the divine power of the Holy Spirit.  Eastern spiritual traditions believe in the idea of there being an inherent energy (“chi”, “ki” or “prana”) present in all living things and represented in the universe around us.  This “life-force energy” is derived from a Divine Source and also contains that Source.  Christians do believe that we are made in the image of God, but do not necessarily believe that we are physical manifestations of Divine nature.  Reiki is not technically a religious tradition, but it does borrow some of its spiritual elements from esoteric Buddhist practices and syncretic Japanese culture.  All of these dogmatic differences make Christian leadership uneasy because it’s not a spiritual practice that developed within the doctrines and culture of the Christian church and contains language and a set of assumptions they are not congruent with their worldview.

Reiki and the natural human power of thought and will
Where I don’t agree with their evaluation is their belief that Reiki is a technique or ability that is “subject to manipulation by the natural human power of thought and will.”  One thing that makes Reiki different than some other forms of energy healing is that it does not rely at all on our physical or spiritual ability or effort.  Mikao Usui, the founder of Reiki (Usui Reiki Ryoho) had a deeply profound spiritual experience wherein he immediately understood the nature of this energy as being guided by a Higher Intelligence.  Reiki flows independently of what the practitioner might will or intend, and does not cause a depletion of physical energy so it is not originating within the body of or directed by the practitioner.  One of my students just remarked to me the other day how surprised he was that he could come home from work, physically and mentally exhausted, and yet still be able to channel Reiki to his wife without feeling like it was anything he was drawing from internally.  Regardless of where we place our hands, Reiki will go where it’s needed, which is why clients will often remark how they came in for one issue and noticed how much it helped a different one that they didn’t even mention at the time.

Very superstitious writings on the wall
My other issue with the USCCB’s evaluation is the belief that this practice amounts to superstition:

A Catholic who puts his or her trust in Reiki would be operating in the realm of superstition, the no-man’s-land that is neither faith nor science.  Superstition corrupts one’s worship of God by turning one’s religious feeling and practice in a false direction.

It’s one thing to say that a particular practice or technique is not appropriate for someone who believes in a set of doctrines and worship as specified by a particular religious institution.  I can accept that.  However, to dismiss a practice completely as something “false” (implying somehow that it is dangerous) because it doesn’t fit into your worldview is short-sighted and intolerant, especially when it is part of another culture’s history and belief systems.  One person’s “superstition” is another person’s belief system.  I would like to hope that we could move towards a world where religious and spiritual differences would be met with curiosity and tolerance, rather than fear and rejection.  There are no reports I am aware of where Reiki has done harm to anyone, and significant anecdotal evidence points to its beneficial effects.  To me, something that would produce harmful effects would be leading its practitioners in a false direction, not something like Reiki, which is done out of love, compassion and the calling to provide comfort and relief to those who are suffering.  

The natural science dilemma
Finally, the Bishops reject Reiki on the grounds that it lacks scientific credibility.  While no study has proven exactly how Reiki works, there are quite a few studies that validate some of Reiki’s beneficial effects in the clinical setting, and more are underway.  Despite not having universal medical and scientific acceptance, a number of hospitals and health care centers use Reiki as an adjunct therapy for their patients, with the goal of providing support, stress relief and improved quality of life through care.  Eventually, I think we will see more of a shift towards acceptance of Reiki with certain therapeutic benefits, similar to guided meditation, acupuncture and chiropractic.  I talk about this a bit in my blog post, Reiki, Science and Belief.   Interestingly, the Veterans Administration is using Reiki as a therapeutic approach along with other therapies, in their hepatitis C program and to help returning veterans heal physically and emotionally from their experiences in combat.  (For more information, see Fort Bliss’s Warrior Resilience Program.)  What we do know is that Reiki facilitates the body’s relaxation response, which is beneficial for stress relief.  As practitioners, we need to be clear when we recommend Reiki for someone that we let them know Reiki is indicated for that purpose primarily, but they may see other benefits depending on their own body’s level of responsiveness to the therapeutic aspects of touch. 

How will you continue to practice?
If the U.S. Catholic Church believes Reiki is inappropriate for their followers to practice or receive based on their own spiritual criteria, then I feel I should respect their opinion as they have interpreted the Word of God and the teachings handed down to them over the centuries.  I don’t have to like it, but it is not for me to tell them how and what to believe.  The Vatican generally disapproves of most CAM (Complementary and Alternative Medicine) modalities associated with “New Age” practices, specifically those that invoke the use of Spirit or energy.  If you mention acupuncture and focus solely on the Western view that it works to engage nerve impulses in a certain way, you’re probably in reasonably safe territory.  But if you start talking about how acupuncture affects the flow of “chi”, it’s not acceptable.  The same can be said for chiropractic, Rolfing and other bodywork.  

As it has been for decades (or centuries, depending on your perspective) Catholics will either choose to follow the directives or not, as they do with most other rulings that come from country-based leadership or the Vatican.  Also know that just because the U.S. Catholic Church has taken this position does not mean that every other Christian denomination (or other religious denominations) will follow suit either at the national or local level.  I’m not worried that Reiki is going to be banned outright in the world.  After all, it is not “superstition” or mumbo-jumbo to millions of people either raised in or comfortable with non-Western beliefs and practices.  There will always be those people who take certain views of Scripture and feel that Reiki is not appropriate for them.  In those cases, we need to respect their beliefs and let it go with love.  There are many paths to healing, and Reiki is but one of them. 

We Reiki practitioners should continue to practice with compassion, tolerance and understanding, because that is what our calling as healers requires us to do.  It is not about pushing our beliefs or opinions on others (even if we have been witness to miracles) or turning away from those who don’t believe in or reject what we are doing.  We need to respond to these situations with an open and loving heart.  Answer any questions or concerns that are directed to you about Reiki, but be prepared to accept that even though you may feel connected to God or the Holy Spirit in a very profound way that others might not be open to your experience or interpretation.  I wish the Reiki for Christians web site was more current but I really like their perspective on Reiki practice, which can also extend to potential recipients:

By reading, seeking those who have given or experienced Reiki, and praying for insight and guidance, Christians can make decisions about how Reiki might play a role in their lives. It’s important to keep in mind that while many Christians have found Reiki to be a spiritually fulfilling practice, it is not necessarily for everyone.

Ultimately, we have to trust that God will lead those people to the healing they seek when they are ready.  If that’s Reiki, so be it, but if it’s not we have to extend our prayers and hopes that whatever healing they receive will be of benefit for their highest good.

Note: I welcome comments on this post, but please try to keep them respectful and informed.   

What is healing?

Healing is more than just about maintaining a positive state of physical wellness.  Healing encompasses the four major forces that comprise our existence: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.  If one or more of these areas is not functioning optimally, then we are in need of healing to bring those forces back into balance.  We can be physically healthy but if our relationships with others are rife with conflict, we are in need of healing.  Conversely, we can be physically compromised in some way, but if we have accepted that state and embraced a new way of living, we can consider ourselves to be healing because we are not rejecting what is physically not “working” but rather, seeing it as an integral aspect of what makes us who we are.

Still here, still healing

I recently read Ram Dass’s book Still Here, and was struck by the honesty and grace with which he talks about experiencing, rejecting and then eventually coming to terms with his physical limitations following a stroke.  A well-respected spiritual teacher, he traveled the world giving talks and doing workshops, and was an avid golf player.  He talks about the effect that the stroke had on him and how he eventually made the shift towards a state of healing by accepting that his life had fundamentally changed and resisting the temptation to manifest his symptoms within his identity:

After any major physical “insult,” as they call it, it’s all too easy to see yourself as a collection of symptoms rather than as a total human being, including your spirit – and thus to become your illness.  Fear is powerful and contagious, and at first I allowed myself to catch it, worried that if I didn’t do what the doctors ordered, I’d be sorry.  Healing is not the same as curing, after all; healing does not mean going back to the way things were before, but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.

Barriers to healing

Why is it that we sometimes don’t heal as we should?  How does a simple injury or illness suddenly rage out of control, spinning off new chronic conditions and wearing down the body?  Why do some people, after going through a difficult phase in their life, have trouble moving forward? 

Sometimes we don’t heal because medicine or counseling can only treat one aspect of the problem we’re experiencing.  People who are chronically sick may need to make lifestyle changes – dietary modifications, some form of exercise, stress reduction techniques or set healthy boundaries in their relationships with others – in order to see a major shift in their overall quality of their health. 

People who have experienced trauma often continue to manifest symptoms in their bodies long after the event occurred because on an emotional or spiritual level, the wound is still raw.  A recent study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry has shown that children who were traumatized by some form of physical or emotional abuse are more likely to develop chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) as adults.    There may be other reasons adults develop CFS, including environmental triggers or an inflammatory response that went haywire (again, also traumas of their own) but it’s important to note that unresolved deep traumas do continue to play out in our lives long after the event has passed.  Even if we do acknowledge those traumas, we may not have fully integrated the experience so that deep healing can occur.  Depending on the nature of the trauma, it can take time, commitment and one or more approaches to facilitate the healing process.

Sometimes people do not heal because they are resistant in some way.  Either they have received so much negative reinforcement about being sick in the form of attention – from doctors, family or other caregivers – that they have trouble letting go psychologically of their identity as a “sick” person.  Other reasons people do not heal is because on some level, they don’t believe they are worthy of being well.  If they suffer from low self-esteem or were made to feel at some point in their life that they do not deserve to be happy or have good things happen to them, it can be difficult to let go of negative mental conditioning that allows illness to manifest and take residence.  These are not “bad” or “messed-up” people, let’s be clear about that.  They have just been conditioned for a long time to believe and integrate their experiences in these ways, and healing cannot begin to occur until they recognize those patterns and process them differently. 

The healing gifts of Reiki

Reiki has allowed me to open and balance my body, mind and spirit so that I can fully integrate my life experiences and heal the whole self.  I have seen tremendous change in my physical wellness, emotional clarity and quality of my relationships with others as a result of the work I’ve done with Reiki.  Reiki has helped me recover from Interstitial Cystitis, a debilitating and painful inflammation of the bladder wall lining.  Reiki helped me heal physically and emotionally after an emergency c-section and massive post-partum hemorrhage.  Reiki has helped me find ways to heal and nurture relationships with people that had been broken or problematic.  Reiki has helped me manage anxiety in positive and constructive ways.  Reiki has helped me be more caring and loving towards myself, which has allowed me to give of myself in a more authentic way to others. 

Like many healers, I also seek out other supportive practices, because what we ideally want is a functional toolkit of resources we can draw on during the healing process and facilitate positive change.  Reiki is a great enabler of positive change, because its energy helps you gently release what is no longer working for your highest good.

I go through challenging times just like everyone else, but Reiki has given me a solid foundation to stand on to live my life and keep me grounded.  I know I could always be doing more to keep myself “healthy” but I have very deep gratitude for my life and the journey towards healing that I have consciously taken.  The state of “what is now” that Ram Dass describes is where I find myself more and more these days.  It’s a great place to be – I hope you come visit and stay!

In the rush to create a positive and memorable holiday  experience, we can easily forget to have a Happy Now.  I have to thank Ariel Bravy, a friend and Reiki colleague, for this reminder.  He posted a message on his Facebook page, ending with the wish to have a “Happy New Year. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy Festivus. Happy Holidays. and Happy Now. “  I was so tickled by it that I replied back saying Happy Now is my favorite holiday because I can celebrate it any time. 

While this may not always feel functionally true for me, I  do think it’s a good mindfulness practice to follow daily.  We all have challenges in our lives  – emotional, physical, spiritual or financial – and some days it can feel like a struggle just to get out of bed, much less feel happy about anything. 

I started a gratitude practice in the shower in the mornings, since that’s about the only time during the day where I can pretty much guarantee I have some quiet, reflective time.  I express thanks to God for all the abundance that I do have, as well as for the issues and challenges that help me grow emotionally, physically and spiritually.  I find that it generally does help orient me towards a positive frame of mind with which to tackle the rest of the day.  That doesn’t mean every day is one tiptoe through the tulips after another, but it feels like a more secure foundation to start things off than if I just rolled out of bed and poured myself a cup of bitterness (sipped through clenched teeth)  as I was wont to do years ago. 

I was talking to my mother yesterday about Christmas.  She lives in New York and I live in Atlanta, so we usually do not get to spend the holidays together.  She was telling me how she and Dad didn’t really have any plans to spend Christmas with anyone in particular this year.  Now that I’m a mother, I have this tendency to want to mother other people, so my response was to suggest possible options: “Why don’t you see what So-and-So is doing?”  She just shrugged it off and replied, “I’m just happy to be here this Christmas.”  A very simple, yet astounding statement.  Mom had a near-fatal prescription drug interaction in January, and was hospitalized for five months.  She was on life support for weeks and initially her prognosis was very guarded.  She has made a remarkable recovery (her new nickname is “Wonder Woman”) and although some days are physically and emotionally challenging, she has been expressing a renewed appreciation for the little things – as well for as the bigger picture.  This appreciation is the cornerstone of her healing process, just as it has been for me in my own life.

Having and expressing gratitude, appreciating the abundance you do possess (a loving family, a roof over one’s head, a job or merely the fact that you’re still alive) and finding moments during each day to savor here and now are the keys to creating Happy Now, the holiday you can celebrate anytime, anywhere.  No long lines at the mall, no cancelled flights at the airport or traffic on the freeway, no pressure to find the perfect outfit.  Just you and the words “thank you” on your lips and in your heart. 

Happy now? 

Yes, Happy Now!

“Do we merely assume we are taking good care of ourselves? It’s perhaps a good idea to list all the ways we think this is true. Do we get enough exercise? What is enough, anyway? Are we eating the right foods and enough of them? How about rest? Do we take naps when needed, as well as get a good night’s sleep? What about laughter? Some would say there’s no better elixir than a good laugh. Of course, we have to be willing to laugh at ourselves, on occasion, to make the most of it.

Taking good care of ourselves is much more in our control than we might have imagined. While it’s true that some of us need a devoted caregiver because of our infirmities, we are able to laugh at will and to eat what’s good for us. We are also very much in control of how we feel about the circumstances of our lives. Whether we think we have it good or bad has a great deal to do with the details of each day.

The best thing I can do for me today is smile at my life, my friends, my remaining dreams. I can show I care.” 

– Karen Casey, Keepers of the Wisdom

My husband forwarded this quote to me last week, and I appreciated its message, because it encouraged me to reflect on the difference between taking care of and taking responsibility for ourselves.  I think many people use the concepts interchangeably, but in practice, some very important distinctions are borne out.

What’s the difference?

Caring for oneself is an act of nurturing, perhaps no different than what you might do or advise for a loved one.  It can mean something as simple as taking that 20 minute walk with your dog or sitting in a quiet place with a book and cup of tea.  It might mean going to sleep earlier, taking a “mental health day” or choosing to eat more nourishing foods.  It may also include getting healing work such as Reiki or a massage.  For some people, taking five to ten minutes to sit in reflection and prayer is a way to reconnect with the source of Divine wisdom and love. 

Caring for oneself fosters self-love.  By making the effort to engage in practices that are comforting and sustaining on a physical, emotional or spiritual level, you are validating your worth as someone who deserves to be treated with consideration for your basic needs.  It is a practice that encourages mindfulness with regard to what your body, mind and spirit needs in order to remain balanced, grounded and function optimally.

Taking responsibility for oneself is a much more complex process.  It requires a deep, honest look at yourself and choosing consciously to recalibrate your responses to stress or certain emotional triggers.  The goal is to ultimately obtain greater control, peace and stability over the circumstances of your life. 

There is a difference between feeling as if you are going through a stressful, though manageable, time in your life and feeling as if everything is careening out of control.  The former state should encourage you to seek out care-giving moments to alleviate some of the stress and keep your life in its proper perspective.  The latter state is a warning sign to stop, step back and take stock of the ways you may be subconsciously contributing to the suffering you’re experiencing. 

We are already “good people”

Making the decision to take responsibility is a lifetime commitment.  It is about taking control of our thought processes and our emotional responses and setting the intention to see through them to the essence of who we are and what motivates us.  Taking responsibility encourages us to let go of self-destructive patterns of behavior by setting healthier habits and practices.  It inspires us to stop feeling and acting like a victim in our relationships with others.  This is not an easy process by any means.  It requires courage to sit with the aspects of our nature that make us feel uneasy or vulnerable and learn to understand their origins.  It requires honesty and a measure of self-acceptance to look deep within and say, “I am all these things and I am also a good person.” This is your Divine nature expressing Itself.  Only then can you begin to feel like you can manage the circumstances of your life and engage in behaviors that lead to positive benefits. 

The practice of gratitude

The secret to both caring of and taking responsibility for yourself is developing the ability to see the good aspects of every situation – even the unwanted, stressful and painful ones.  This is a practice that can help keep you grounded and positive even in the face of challenges. 

Earlier this year, I was put in the position of having to re-evaluate the tendency I had to respond in a negative way to different stressors coming at me.  It wasn’t necessarily that I believed all these stressors were negative (after all, you can have good stress too) but my way of framing and containing them was to express myself by kvetching about it.  “Kvetching” is a Yiddish phrase for complaining or griping.  It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it had become a habitual way of dealing with my life circumstances.  The perception from several people was that I seemed unhappy, which I fundamentally am not.  So, I did some soul-searching and realized that a good counter-balance would be to practice expressing gratitude on a daily basis.  It could be gratitude for something small someone did for me, or it could be meditative, prayerful gratitude for all of the wonderful things I have, the people in my life and the challenges I face from time to time that allow me to grow emotionally and spiritually.  I’ve been doing some work getting in touch with my spirit guides/guardian angels and that has also helped develop my gratitude practice, because the more I work with them, the more aware I am of their presence and influence.  Reiki also has an important place in this process because it is fundamentally a practice that embraces gratitude in its basic ideals*.  I do Reiki on myself daily and participate in monthly Reiki circles to receive healing energy from other practitioners. 

Life still has its moments, but I’ve noticed that since I’ve made the change to express gratitude that I’ve been able to find solutions for problems more easily, see the bigger picture – and also take greater responsibility for the things going on in my life that are within my control.  Learning to let go of what’s out of my control is one of the ways I’m learning to take care of myself too. 

Reiki as a tool for life transformation

Reiki works on the emotional aspects of our energetic bodies to release blockages that make it difficult for us to let go of pain, trauma and ingrained responses to those “triggers.” It is excellent for promoting mental clarity and physical relaxation.  People often feel that they can focus more clearly after receiving a Reiki treatment and that they are less burdened by whatever issues they’re facing.  They feel inspired to make small changes – even temporary ones – that allow them to nurture their bodies and souls, which helps facilitate greater change in their lives as a whole.  When I work with my clients, I encourage different types of supportive practices, based on individual needs, to supplement process.   Every little thing that we can do for ourselves leads to deeper healing and sparks a transformation that will manifest the greatness that lies within each of us.

 
*The Five Reiki Ideals, as developed by Dr. Mikao Usui, the founder of Reiki:

The secret of inviting happiness
The miraculous medicine of all diseases
Just for today, do not anger
Do not worry and be filled with gratitude
Devote yourself to your work and be kind to people

I love this quote from Pema Chödrön:

We cling to a fixed idea of who we are and it cripples us.  Nothing and no one is fixed.  Whether the reality of change is a source of freedom for us or a source of horrific anxiety makes a significant difference.  Do the days of our lives add up to further suffering or to increased capacity for joy?  That’s an important question.

I read this passage in The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times  several days ago.  I keep coming back to it because her message is so simple, yet often so difficult to affirm deep in our heart. 

We don’t get to choose who we are (at least not on a fundamental level.)  We don’t always get to choose circumstances in life that have an effect on us.  But we do get to choose how we accept ourselves, our lives and the decision to be joyful in the midst of all of life’s uncertainty.

In the beginning, it takes mindfulness.  It takes a gentle reminder or corrective action to recalibrate how our mind perceives the way we feel about ourselves, the situations we find ourselves in or certain life-changing circumstances. 

One of the gifts I appreciate most about Reiki is that first and foremost, it is an affirmative practice.  When doing Reiki, I affirm my connection to divine, positive energy.  I express gratitude for the healing and lessons I’ve learned, even when the circumstances have been painful or I had to confront and accept certain truths about myself.  I used to be afraid of allowing myself to feel joy, because I would think, “What if it doesn’t last?”  I thought I was protecting myself from suffering, but I was actually manifesting it.

I realized recently that even though those life experiences are not persistent phenomena, it’s OK.  What matters is my ability to be truly open and present to them, rather than anticipating loss and expressing anxiety.  The other thing I realized recently is that I want to give my daughter the gifts of joy and affirmation.  Life is more rewarding when you can recognize something about each day as inherently wonderful, rather than as a series of moments you need to just “get through.” 

Meister Eckhart, the German theologian and mystic, said, “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.”

Look!  There’s a wonderful moment!

Thank you.